Here In the House of Mirrors
Soccer—Is it still The Beautiful Game?
If you’re a soccer fan as I am, then you will have most likely watched the recent European Soccer Championships (aka The Euros) which were held in Munich, Germany.
As always, passions and tempers ran high.
We may have stayed home to watch the event, or we may even have been lucky enough to catch a match live in person. The next best thing however, is to sit in a local pub and watch the games with a slightly wobbly audience—their beer goggles fogged up with inebriated optimism.
The winning team leaves with the ultimate prize. Their names forever inscribed into the halls of the soccer pantheon. The losers leave with excuses and graceful manners, but we know full well that the coaching and management staff will likely undergo a vivisection by the team owners.
Soccer has been (rightly or wrongly) associated with match fixing and corruption. This is more directed towards the officials than the players. The players have a slightly different agenda. They attempt to draw penalties by recreating a Shakespearian tragedy whenever a player on the opposing team comes near them. The dives, spills, falls and tumbles are almost Oscar worthy in their epic scope. This kind of childish behaviour is regulated through the yellow and red card system. A yellow card is equivalent to strike one in baseball. A player may not have consulted the soccer rulebook in awhile and they may require a swift but firm reminder that continued conduct in such a fashion could lead to ejection from the game. Think of the yellow cart as a time out for petulant misbehaviour on the soccer pitch.
The red card is a whole other matter. A red card infraction permits the referee to act as judge, jury and executioner. The red cards seldom make an appearance, but when they do, their harsh impact is swift and irreversible. The red card is the baseball equivalent of Strike 2 and 3 combined. In other words…you‘re out!
Let us delve further into what makes soccer ‘The Beautiful Game.’
EURO Origins
The UEFA European Championship (commonly known as the ‘Euros’) is the primary association football competition between the senior men’s national teams from the Union of European Football Association (UEFA). The event has been held in Europe every four years since 1960 to determine the continental champion.
Hooliganism
Soccer isn’t the only sport to be infected by hooliganism. It’s an ignorant form of expression that is born out of a mob mentality, team rivalries and generally fuelled by alcohol and bad sportsmanship. The destructive actions of these thugs are well documented.
Diving
It takes real skill to craft and execute a perfect soccer dive. Timing, contact and field positioning are crucial. The referee can’t call what they can’t see. So what they do see better be convincing or the diver may get carded for delaying the game.
The Mysterious Hand Ball infraction
The mysterious hand ball is another offence that’s sure to get tempers buzzing- especially if it occurs in the penalty area.
The rule sounds, and should be very simple. If contact is made between the ball and an opposing players HAND, the defending team is awarded a penalty kick. But this rule is quite stupid and contradictory in that if the ball hits any part of a players arm, lower or upper, the referee will award a penalty shot to the other team. A skilled opponent is more than able to kick a ball and hit their adversary in the hand, arm, shoulder and so on—without any intent by the victim of delaying the game. So the term ‘hand ball’ Come on.
Penalty Kicks
As controversial as some of the calls may be, the entire notion of penalty kicks after full and extra time have been played still has many fans divided. Some believe that the game should continue until the team worthy of holding the title wins the match.
Others, myself included, feel that after roughly 120 minutes of gameplay play (soccer is an already notoriously low scoring game), that the excitement of penalty kicks will be the manner in which to decide the event. It also helps in preventing our favourite pub goers from falling asleep in their beer.
And so alas, the establishment in which I watched the Euro Final between England and Spain went from being a lively English pub to a funeral home in less than 90 minutes. The English squad fought well, but Spain ultimately took the day and the championship.
And now we head onwards towards the FIFA World Cup in 2026, where Canada, Mexico and the USA will co-host the next chapter of The Beautiful Game.
by Rob Herholz